What to Wear to a Graduation, a Christening or a Communion in Your 30s and 40s

For a graduation, a christening or a first communion, wear a knee length or midi dress with sleeves, or tailored pants and a jacket. Choose a color or a print, and at a christening or a communion leave white to the child. The Iris A-Line Midi Dress in Blush Floral ($625) has a high neck and long sleeves. It measures 48 inches from the back of the neck to the longest point of the hem on a size 2. Below, we note which sleeves are sheer and which are opaque, so you know if you need a jacket.

What the dress code means at a graduation and in church

A graduation calls for polished daytime clothes. Wear a dress at or below the knee, or tailored pants with a blouse or a jacket. An outdoor ceremony can run 2 hours or more in full sun. Photographs on the lawn usually follow. Guests may wear white at most graduations. Skip it if the graduates of that school wear white themselves.

A christening and a first communion take place in church. Many churches expect covered shoulders and a hem at or below the knee, and others have no dress rule. Customs differ between churches, between denominations and between families, so ask the host or the congregation when you are unsure. In most churches, white is kept for the child at both services. A guest wears a color or a print, and an ivory jacket over a colored dress is fine.

What to wear in your 30s and 40s as a mother, a godmother or a guest

In your 30s and 40s, these occasions come from every side of the family. A single spring can hold your own child’s christening, a godchild’s first communion, a niece’s graduation and your own master’s ceremony. Some years you are the host, holding the baby or the camera. Buy 1 or 2 pieces that cover 3 to 5 of those days.

What should a mother wear to a first communion?

Wear a modest dress at or below the knee with covered shoulders, in a soft color or a print. The Iris covers more of the arm and neck than any other dress here. It is 84% viscose, 10% metallic fibers and 6% elastane. It is fully lined, and the slim belt adjusts to you. At $625, the Iris comes to under $209 an event if you wear it to a first communion, an Easter service and a spring wedding.

The Olga Wrap Dress in Navy ($695) suits the parent who will lift a child all day. It is a knee length navy wrap with short sleeves and a notched lapel collar. It measures 39 inches from the back of the neck on a size 2. It also goes in the washing machine on a gentle cycle.

What should a mother wear to a graduation?

Wear what you can sit in for 2 hours and stand in for the photographs. The Natasha Tailored Blazer in Sand Beige ($610) is double breasted with 4 buttons, in a lined sand beige twill. The matching Natasha Wide Leg Pants in Sand Beige ($395) have a high waist, a single front button and wide legs. The pair costs $1,005.

For a ceremony on the lawn, the Amanda Midi Dress in Floral ($695) is a sleeveless midi with a draped neckline and a belted waist. Watercolor flowers in pink, orange and green cover a cream ground. It is fully lined and measures 46 inches from the back of the neck on a size 2. Inside a church it needs a jacket.

The Lucy Jacquard Midi Dress in Midnight Blue ($695) is a jacquard of 80% cotton and 20% technical crepe, with a sweetheart V neckline and sheer 3/4 sleeves. It measures 46 inches on a size 2. The sleeves cover the arm but are sheer. If your church asks for opaque sleeves, add a jacket.

The Jody Tailored Lace Blazer in Ivory ($550) has long sleeves and lace on the collar, the cuffs and the buttoned placket. It covers the shoulders and arms completely. It works over the Amanda, the Lucy, the Olga or any colored dress, but not over a white dress at a christening.

Every dress here is in graduation, christening and communion outfits. For the ceremony on campus, read what to wear to a graduation as a guest. For a first communion with a family party afterward, or a quinceañera later in the year, read our guide to the quinceañera, the Sweet 16 and the first communion. If you are a godmother, read what to wear to a christening as a guest or godmother.

What to wear over it, by season

Many first communions and graduations fall in spring and early summer. In April, a lace blazer or the Natasha blazer is enough over a midi. In June, wear the Amanda alone in the sun and carry the jacket for the church or the hall. Between October and March, wear a coat that covers the hem. The Clara Wool Trench Coat in Navy Blue ($910) is navy wool with a black faux fur collar and a tie belt. It ends 4 inches below the Lucy jacquard midi.

Our guide to wedding guest dresses for women in their 30s and 40s pairs more coats with the same dresses. The capsule wardrobe for your 30s shows where 1 good dress sits among 10 pieces.

What to avoid

Leave white and ivory dresses to the child at a christening or a communion. Skip a hem that rides above the knee when you kneel or sit in a pew. Thin heels sink into a graduation lawn. Where a church asks for opaque sleeves, a sheer sleeve may not count, so carry the jacket.

Shoes and bag

Wear a block heel or a low pump on stone church steps and on grass. A parent carrying a baby or a camera needs both hands, so choose a shoulder bag over a clutch.

A short checklist

• Ask the host or the church office about shoulders and hem length.
• Leave white to the child, and to the graduates if they wear it.
• Check whether your sleeves are opaque or sheer, and bring a jacket if the church asks for opaque.
• Sit and kneel in the dress at home before the day.
• Wear a heel that holds on grass and on stone steps.

Every other event is on the Shop by Occasion page.

Questions about graduations, christenings and first communions

Is white allowed at a graduation or communion for guests?

At a graduation, guests may wear white unless the graduates of that school wear white themselves. At a first communion or a christening, white belongs to the child, so a guest chooses a color or a print.

Do shoulders have to be covered at a church ceremony?

It depends on the church. Many expect covered shoulders and a hem at or below the knee, and others have no dress rule. When you do not know, wear sleeves or bring a jacket, and ask the host or the church office before the day.

What should I wear as a guest to a graduation ceremony outdoors?

Wear a knee length or midi dress in a breathable fabric, or tailored pants, with a block heel for the lawn. Bring a light jacket and sun protection for a long ceremony.

What should I wear to a christening as a guest?

Wear a knee length or midi dress with sleeves, or a sleeveless dress with a jacket, in a color or a print. Choose a hem you can sit and kneel in during the service.

What should a mother wear to a first communion?

Wear a modest dress at or below the knee in a soft color or a print, with covered shoulders inside the church. Leave white to your child. A long sleeve midi such as the Iris or a short sleeve wrap such as the Olga suits the service and the lunch afterward.

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