Bridal Shower, Engagement Party and Bachelorette Outfits in Your 30s and 40s

At a bridal shower, wear a daytime midi or a knee length dress in a print. At an engagement party or a bachelorette dinner, wear a cocktail piece you can walk a few blocks in. Leave white and ivory to the bride. The Jody Lace Jumpsuit in Black ($550) covers the engagement party, the bachelorette dinner and the rehearsal dinner. The lace bodice dresses it up, and the wide legs are easy to walk in between the restaurant and the bar. Luna lists each dress length in inches, so you know where a hem falls.

What is the dress code for a bridal shower, an engagement party and a bachelorette?

A bridal shower is usually a daytime party at a home, a restaurant or a garden. The code is dressy daytime, which means a midi or knee length dress, a dressy jumpsuit, or pants with a blouse, in a print or a color. An evening engagement party usually calls for cocktail attire. A bachelorette dinner is cocktail dressing too, often with a walk between a restaurant and a bar. The bride may also set a theme or a color. At all 3, guests leave solid white, ivory and champagne to the bride unless the host asks for them. Our guide to the bridal shower, the bachelorette and the courthouse wedding covers what the bride wears to each one.

What to wear to the shower, the party and the bachelorette in your 30s and 40s

In your 30s and 40s these invitations tend to come one after another. A friend’s engagement party falls in March, her shower on a Sunday in May, the bachelorette dinner in June and the wedding in September. The next year a colleague or a younger sibling may start the same series. Buy 2 or 3 pieces that cover all of it and then go to work with you.

Worn to the engagement party, the bachelorette dinner and the rehearsal dinner, the $550 Jody comes to about $183 an evening, and it can go to the holiday party in December as well.

For the shower

• The Amanda Elegant Midi Dress in Floral ($695) is a sleeveless midi with a draped neckline and a belted waist. Watercolor flowers in pink, orange and green cover a cream ground. It is cut from 100% botanical fiber, fully lined, and measures 46 inches from the back of the neck on a size 2. It suits a garden shower in May or a summer wedding.
• The Betty Ruffle Dress in Black Polka Dot ($695) has a square neckline and a 2 tier ruffled hem. The hem ends just above the knee, at 36 inches from the neck on a size 2. The white dots on the black satin finish keep the dress light enough for a daytime shower.

For the engagement party and the bachelorette dinner

• The Jody Lace Jumpsuit is sleeveless, with a European lace bodice, a sheer illusion yoke and a slim belt with a buckle above wide legs. You can sit at a long table, take the stairs to a rooftop bar and dance without worrying about a hem.
• The Laura Short Metallic Dress in Bronze ($595) is fitted, with a crinkled metallic finish that shifts between warm gold and pewter as you move. The neckline drapes across the collarbone, and ruching runs across the body. On a size 2 it measures 34 inches from the neck, above the knee. Wear it to the bachelorette dinner and again on New Year’s Eve.
• The Talia Satin Blouse in Black Polka Dot ($425) is a sleeveless satin blouse with white dots on black, a collar and a V neckline. Tuck it into the Agatha High Waisted Wide Leg Pants in Black ($595), which have a high waist, a pressed front crease, side pockets and a full lining. Together they cost $1,020. On Monday the pants go to the office with a blazer.

More pieces for these parties are in engagement, bridal shower and baby shower outfits and in rehearsal dinner and bridal shower outfits.

What should I wear to a bachelorette dinner if I am over 40?

Your age does not change the answer. Dress to the level of the restaurant, follow any theme the bride sets, and choose shoes for the walk between venues. A jumpsuit or a knee length dress in a dark or metallic fabric works for the whole evening. If the bride names a color, carry it in a blouse, a bag or a blazer, and skip the dress you would wear once.

What to wear over it by season

Between October and March, you will need a lighter layer for a heated room and a warmer one for a cold walk. The Alexa Tailored Blazer in Red ($610) is lined, with 4 covered buttons, a notched lapel, flap pockets and a cuff that turns back to 3/4. Wear it over the Betty at a winter shower, or over the Talia and the Agatha pants as a guest at a courthouse wedding. For an evening outdoors, choose a coat that covers a knee length hem from winter coats.

Between April and September, carry the blazer for an air conditioned restaurant and leave the coat at home. For the wedding itself, see our guide to wedding guest dresses for women in their 30s and 40s. If you would rather own 1 dress for every party in the series, read how to choose the cocktail dress in your 30s.

What to avoid

A white blazer over a dark dress counts as white, so leave it at home. Skip a floor length gown at a daytime shower. At a bachelorette, avoid shoes you cannot walk 3 blocks in and a neckline you need to adjust all night. Carry the theme in an accessory so the outfit stays wearable.

Shoes and bag

A garden shower needs a block heel or a wedge that stays on top of the lawn. A bachelorette night needs a heel you can walk in all evening. A small crossbody bag leaves your hands free for a glass and a phone. Every other event is on the Shop by Occasion page.

A short checklist

• Ask the host about a theme or a palette before you buy.
• Leave white, ivory and champagne to the bride.
• Choose a midi or knee length for the daytime shower.
• Check the walking route on the bachelorette night and pick the shoes for it.
• Plan 2 or 3 pieces that cover the whole series and your workweek after it.

Questions about the shower, the engagement party and the bachelorette

What should I wear as a guest to an engagement party?

For a daytime party, wear a midi dress or pants with a blouse. For an evening party, wear a cocktail dress or an evening jumpsuit such as the Jody Lace Jumpsuit in Black. Leave white and ivory to the bride.

Can I wear black to a bridal shower?

Yes, black is fine at most showers. A print keeps it right for daytime, as on the Betty Ruffle Dress in Black Polka Dot. If the host sets a palette, follow it.

Can I wear white to an engagement party or a bridal shower as a guest?

You should not, unless the host asks for it. White, ivory and champagne belong to the bride at the events before the wedding.

What should I wear to a courthouse or civil wedding as a guest?

Dress as you would for a dressy lunch. A colored blazer over dark pants suits a short ceremony and the lunch after it. The Alexa Tailored Blazer in Red over the black Agatha pants is 1 way to do it.

Can I wear the same outfit to the shower and the wedding?

You can. Change the layer and the shoes, and the same dress looks different in the 2 sets of photographs.

Does Luna ship free, and can I return a piece?

Shipping to any US address is free. Orders ship from California and arrive in 2 to 5 days, and you can return any order within 30 days with no questions asked.